OUR DISTANT STAR

Today was all about contemplation, contemplation, and contemplation. A heavy subject to spend one short weekend about.

It all began with the priest's sermon today. Apparently, today is Father's Day. (Really?? We have one here?) The subject about the priest's troubled past relationship with his father came up in his sermon. Closed with a letter of a man to his father the priest took from a book. Brought tears to my eyes, as well as to a lot of other people in the room. I couldn't help it. We couldn't help it.

Later, my friends and I went to see this movie. And guess what, one of the scene shows a father being murdered in front of his daughter he has not seen for a very long time. So sick, I know. A drop of tear was there rolling down my cheek. I remembered my father again.

I wish I could stop the ugly cry from happening every time I hear fatherly stuff stories, or when I see a father wipes dirt from his kid's mouth, or a father kissing his baby kid dearly in his arms, or a stupid movie scene where a father got his bloody neck broken into two. I'm always a sucker at this and you can tell, as well.

I can still recall the priest said something about leaving your past behind, and carrying on with your now-life. I know I will. But I don't think I will ever stop looking for his presence everywhere, like any other little girl who lost her father some time too soon. It still hurts. Other feelings never felt this wrong.

Anyways, Happy Father's Day, Bapak. They said that I carry your smile and sense of humor. I miss your jokes and hugs. You are our distant star. We love you always.